Fantasy Friday

Get your mind out of the gutter...this is about a fantasy I've had for several years, many more than that, but I have refined this fantasy, year after year. I think it is close enough to perfect to actually share.

Several who really know me know I love to write, but over the years, I have lost my time and drive to write. Thank you, adulthood. As much as I hate to say this, life took me for a whirlwind ride and left me not knowing up from down and where in the world I should go. I think I found the little path hidden in the brush and tentatively, I'm taking it.

So, you're thinking, "what in the world does a little path have to do with your fantasy?"

I'd love to write in these places...(that, my friends, is what I dream of during the day, while I run, at night while I'm recouping from a busy day.)

1. A beach side cabana.

Any beach will do as long as there is the sun, the sea, and the sand.















2. Any historical tower.

Really, do not ask me why, but think about it. Writing at the top of a tower where history was made? The thought makes me want to pack my bag and leave immediately. It also makes me think of Lord Bryon writing his poetry and Don Juan or Dante toiling over The Inferno. Even though neither of them really lived in a tower, a tower is just a neat spot.


























3. On a boat.

Now close your eyes and imagine the scene from Jewel of the Nile, where Joan Wilder (Kathleen turner) throws her typewriter overboard. Yes, I can see myself doing exactly that.



















4. Lastly, and honestly, a tree house.

My own little world that I can climb into whenever I needed and wanted to write. Nowadays, I can have my entire home in a tree if I wanted. Something like this should do.


















So, what is your fantasy???

Forgotten Thought

Last night I thought of this wonderful phrase, and as soon as I thought it, I thought "that would be great in my blog". Did I immediately write it down?

Nope. I did not. Why? Probably pure laziness or the fact it was pushing 10:00 p.m., the time I usually drift off. In my defense, I think I'll use the excuse of the fact my 3 year old was sleeping in my arms. Who in their right mind would not forgive that? Anyone with any creative bone in their body would not forgive it.

All day long I've been trying to recall that one amazing thought. It's been driving me crazy. I always have some sort of something in order to jot a note down. Pen and paper, my phone, my computer, my hand, a napkin, I think once in college, I even used my jeans. My bag, purse and pockets get emptied every night of tidbits of paper with notes scribbled here and there. Some get put back, some make it to a place to save for later, some get forgotten completely, and some get washed in the laundry. I'm really irritated with myself. I know better.

Moral of the story: Always, always write down your thought(s), especially if you know you're going to use it or even think you may possibly, one day, ten years later, use it.

Little One's Surgery Countdown

So, yea...I forgot to blog yesterday. I just got overwhelmed with things this working mother has to take care of in one day. A busy bee, that's me. Plus, the interjection of a doctor's appointment for my youngest son really threw me off course. He's going in 8 days to have strabismus surgery, and the doc just wanted to take a final look. It's a relatively easy procedure, in and out in about four hours. yet, my head still spins. All I can think about is the final episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. I don't think I could handle any of that. To refresh your memory...

Ray Barone stresses about getting his adenoids removed. Everyone assures him he'll be fine, but he believes otherwise. As it turns out, the doctors have trouble taking Ray out of anesthesia, and his family quickly gets worried, until the doctor comes out moments later to explain that he is fine. It is agreed that Ray will not be told, and neither will Marie, who was in the bathroom at the time. However, Marie gets the truth out of Frank, and Debra must explain the incident to Raymond, who is still unaware of the mishap. The ensuing discussion, which includes Robert and Amy as well, involves Ray asking, "So for 30 seconds, you all thought I might be dead?", which was followed with a smile and asking, "What did everybody do?" One by one, each Barone express their love for Ray (either subtly or noticeably). The next day, the entire family sits down at the table for breakfast. Everyone is talking and laughing, and the show ends on that note. - -Plot synopsis from Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Finale_(Everybody_Loves_Raymond)

I know that the probability of this happening is next to nothing, but the thought is still there. The next 8 days seem arduous and full of time-occupying activities to keep my mind in other places. The countdown begins...

A New Month

Every 30-ish days, I get a do over. At least that's how it seems to me, especially this month. Maybe it's because Spring is right around the corner. Maybe it's just because I like a clean slate. I really don't know. I do know every 1st of the month, I get a little twitter in my step and a shot of glee when I turn that calendar page. I don't care if my calendar is already packed, I just love turning that page.

So, this month I'm hopping on this "clean slate" feeling and blogging every day this month. I am a bit terrified because I often feel I rarely have anything interesting enough for people to read every day. Perhaps that's the reason I post on an occasional basis. Nevertheless, I plan to post every single day even if I really have nothing witty or something deep to get off my chest. Maybe this will be the creative kick in the rear I need. We'll see.

Projects

Last night I watched Julie & Julia, and in the back of my mind, I thought to myself, "I should do a project like that". You know, a year-long project learning to do something and learning about myself, and then I thought..."I'm already doing that, and more". My year long 'diligence' project would be considered my race training. I already blog about it here, and just like Julie's cooking project in the movie, it takes diligence, dedication, inspiration, and a willingness to go beyond your normal tendencies.

As I began to think of the "and more" part, I realized how many side projects I have going all the time...and this on top of all my working-mother/wife-busy-as-all-get-out schedule. So, let's see who gets overwhelmed first at the sight of my list:

• Soccer. Outdoor soccer for me, not my kids. This takes up most Sundays for 8 months of the year just for games alone.
• Scrapbooking. Enough said, with many unfinished projects.
• Writing. I think the most progress in this area is in my blogging.
• Learning to sew. Yea...
• Monthly Girls' Night Out Organizer. Hey, it's the only way I can guarantee I see everyone on a semi-regular basis.
• Converting to a more organic, natural livelihood everyday. It's actually pretty hard when you have very little time for research, testing, etc.
• Trying to save the world one little corner at a time. Well, at least trying to make a difference in someone's world.

Now, that I see it all typed out, it measures up to a paltry little list, but one has to consider the components of each "project" making each one a bit more complex than it seems. Yet, it still makes me consider something else entirely. Perhaps my year long project is to make progress within all of my other projects...hmmm, that is a possibility and another subject for yet another post.

Letting It Go

Of all the lessons I still need to learn, letting go is probably the biggest lesson of all I need to learn. If I just let go, even a little, wishes may come true, desires may become reality, and peace can be found. On New Year's Eve, I realized I actually have much to let go of...dreadful traditions, unfulfilled relationships, little "sentimental" items with no actual sentiment. For once, I have no plan to take on this daunting character task I have before me.

Yet, that in itself, is another way of letting go. I keep trying to plan this, plan that, plan for whom, plan for what. Plans don't turn out, I get disappointed and then my "plans" are ruined. I'm not saying not to plan for anything, but somehow I've managed to plan practically every second of my life and now my family's lives. I thought I was organized, but I realized I've started becoming overbearing, controlling, and difficult at times. That's not me. Plans now go out the window. I'm doing the essential planning, but letting life happen as well. My family flourishes under spontaneity. Even if it is baking sugar cookies from scratch at 9 p.m. at my sister's house and we stay up late waiting for them to finish or just the occasional playtime before bed or better yet, the surprising hug and thank you to the husband.

Another area to let go is with certain people, certain relationships and certain expectations. First things first, I'm easily letting go of people who make me feel less than myself or worse than I should. Thing is, I never really cared what they thought of me, I just always let people's good happenings get to me and make me see the negative in my life. I was miserable when I should be extremely happy in a life I work hard to make.

A little while ago, I start living by this anonymous quote: The only people you need in your life are the ones that prove they need you in theirs. I started weeding out people who I thought I needed in my life yet, they apparently didn't need me in theirs. Part of my letting go will take my weeding out, or deciphering, process to another level. I will start letting go of certain aspects of certain relationships; certain aspects that have kept me from growing with my family, growing within my marriage, growing within my community, and most importantly, growing within myself.

I hope at the end of all of this I will become the person I think I am, the person I know that's hiding in me somewhere, the person who got lost years ago and is ready to come home.

Goodbye 2009

2009 wasn't a spectacular year, yet in reflection, I conjured up a list of great things that happened.

• I lost a total of 22 pounds.
• Taylor started karate and ended the year with a green belt.
• Paul appreciated the goings on of a stay-at-home parent.
• Cyrus' communication level increased exponentially.
• Taylor attended his first "real" rock concert...with me, of all people.
• Paul appreciated becoming re-employed.
• Cyrus has become 98.5% potty trained.
• Paul joined a new band and debuted it on the last night of the year.
• I ran my first 5K for the Susan G. Komen foundation.
• I met and become friends with fantastic people...all thanks to the WWW.
• Taylor learned the first lesson of responsibility and consequences with chores and allowance.
• Taylor joined the Borman Singing Astros out of his own desire.
• I read 39 books this year.
• Cyrus has an artistic streak a mile and more wide, and it has flourished.
  
• We all learned lessons of the importance of family and good people.

Now we put 2009 to rest and save the memories to live the adventure of 2010.