Marriage Questions

This is a marriage meme that floated around Facebook, but I found it on dooce. I thought it was different enough to put here.

What are your middle names?
Dawn is my middle name & hubby's is Jason.


How long have you been together?
We've been together since December of 1998, married on February 11, 2000...so, married for 9 years, 10 days & together in totale for 10 years, 2 months.


How long did you know each other before you started dating?
I met him in the summer of 1998. A friend of mine used to work across the street from his house. We'd sit on the back porch and watch him and his friends. She got to know them and introduced me. When I had a horrible breakup (and car accident) on Thanksgiving weekend, he and his roommate offered me his spare room. We started "dating" within the next couple of weeks. So, a matter of months, 6 at most.


Who asked whom out?
No one asked anyone out, it just happened.


How old are each of you?
I'm 30, he's 36. This difference in age always has us comparing everything about our childhoods. I often have to remind him that when he was listening to 80's punk, I was still listening to whatever my mom put on the radio.

Whose siblings do you see the most?Hubby is the oldest of three, and I am the middle of five, 3rd of 6 if you include my step-brother (now deceased). My siblings are scattered near and far, mostly far. We live in the same town as his siblings and parents, so obviously we see his siblings more, especially with his little brother living just a few blocks away.


Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?I'd say money, but we always work through our money issues just fine. Honestly, it would have to be parenting. We've made more compromises on how we parent our sons than anything we've ever tackled. We each have our moments when one of us thinks we have the "perfect" thing to do, and then have to admit the other person was right and try it their way.


Did you go to the same school?
We both went to UNT. He started studying RTVF, got an internship, which turned into a full time job, left school and has not returned since. I went to UNT from 1996-2001, graduating in December of '01 with a BA in English.


Are you from the same home town?
No. I'm from a small hick town in North Texas, and he's a Yank from southern Illinois.


Who is smarter?
It all depends on what you're talking about...I'm book smart, money smart, computer smart. He's music smart, kitchen smart, and car smart. We each excel in different things.


Who is the most sensitive?
Again, it depends. He swears I only have feelings when I'm PMSing. I tell him I swear he only has feelings when he wants sex.


Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Eat out as a couple, that's funny. No, really, the place we go to most is an old college favorite bar of ours called Cool Beans (Remember, we enjoyed this bar on our own at different times.) But they have the best nachos, tacos and the best darn veggie burgers you'll find in Denton. But when we do have a "date", we strive to try something new, different, and not kid-friendly.


Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Arkansas. Due to jobs and kids, we haven't gotten to travel together as much as we liked.


Who has the craziest exes?
It would probably have to be me. The guy that I was dating/engaged to right before hubby started coming around our house (how he found out where I was living still makes me wonder) to "talk" with me. Finally, after he showed up when my oldest son was almost 3 months old, I had to tell him to never come back unless he wanted the cops to visit at the same time he did. We moved very shortly after that.


Who has the worst temper?
Me, hands down. Yes, even at 30 I still throw temper tantrums and throw crap against the wall. But, my kids do not see it and my husband is afraid of it. The adult in me has learned the appropriate time to throw a tantrum...when I'm alone.


Who does the cooking?
We both do. When I met Hubby, all I could cook was pork chops and anything from a box, and he was in the culinary industry. So, he did the majority of the good cooking until I go pregnant with my youngest. Then I started craving things I couldn't find in the store and I was addicted to the Food Network, so I got a Rachael Ray cookbook and started cooking. Whalaaaa....I can cook good food!


Who is the neat-freak?
Again me, hands down. I think I border on OCD because I have my things that must be "just right". Granted, my lovely hubby and my youngest son has helped me "let go" of many of my peeves over the years. But I still do color code my clothes in my closet.


Who is more stubborn?
I am country Texas stubborn and also a Cancer. He is Yankee Chicago stubborn and a Taurus. Take a wild guess. Now imagine how stubborn our two boys turned out.


Who hogs the bed?
Me. Not that I do it intentionally, but I do go to bed first, so doesn't that entitle me to the majority of the bed? In my defense, hubby also falls asleep on the couch...a lot. On the off chance, he does make it to the bed, he just rolls me over and not like that.

Who wakes up earlier?
Me again. I enjoy waking up early. Being awake at 5, 5:30, even at 6 on weekends means I get to work out in peace (if I want to work out), have a hot and full cup of coffee, shower with no one yelling through the door or curtain, or just stay in my jammies and finish the movie I fell asleep through the night before.


Where was your first date?
We never really had "a date". But this would be the closest to a first date. We went to the Square with a friend of ours. Our friend wanted to go into a store we really didn't want to go in, so we stayed outside, sat on the hood of the car and talked, and then he kissed me. Not sure who it shocked more, but it was unforgettable.


Who is more jealous?
Another, it depends. He gets jealous when it comes to guys looking, talking or even breathing in my general direction. I get jealous over stupid stuff, like beer, music I don't like, or Call of Duty.


How long did it take to get serious?
We were always serious. Of course, he realized it much sooner than I ever did.


Who eats more?
Probably him. Except during PMS week when we have to stock up the kitchen like it's Armageddon

Who does the laundry?
We both do. Right now, I sort the laundry. He washes and dries them. I fold and put away, except for my 8 year old's clothes. He's old enough to put away his own laundry. He doesn't do whites or delicates. He says bleach makes him nervous, and I say my undies and work shirts washed in warm water makes me nervous.


Who's better with the computer?
Another depends. He's good at hardware issues and remembering to defrag and all that jazz. I'm good with software and putting the reminders on the calendars that makes him remember to defrag.


Who drives when you are together?
He does. He is the better driver, and for a good part of our marriage, he didn't have a license, so I had to drive even when I didn't feel like driving. I kinda like him driving all the time. It's sort of the one chivalrous thing he does.

Losing Senses

I'm pretty sure we've all been asked the question "If you had to keep just one sense, which one would it be?". I've always answered sight, mainly because I love color and don't really like to be in complete darkness (as in can't see in front of my face dark). I can deal with loss of taste or smell. With years of dealing with sinuses and allergies, I've lost one or both of these temporarily enough to know I can live without them. Yet, with my current earache, I'm reminded of how much I like to hear. So, right now, if you came up on my right side, I would barely hear you or turn around to you blindly and say "Huh?". Just like an old lady!



What about you....what sense can you NOT live without?

To My Funny Valentines

To all of you who may read this, and to those of you who don't. Happy Valentine's Day. A day to show love to those who you care for. A day stemmed from a saint and makes commercialism proud. Yet, no politico today. Valentine's day is where even the most cynical and pragmatic woman turns romantic. Lucky for me, I have three males to ignore me. Just kidding. I dote on my boys on Valentine's day with heart-shaped pancakes and all sorts of "mom loves her kiddos" kind of stuff. I get romance from my life mate, who inevitably gets to bypass all of the Valentine hubbub since our anniversary is just 3 days before. Lucky him. But I still send Valentines to my family and friends (when life is not as chaotic as it has been this year, so my dear friends & family, I do apologize).
I have to say this year, my funny valentines are my best friends. Today, I can tell them that I love them as much as I love anybody else who is kept close to me. Even though, they know this (and they very well should!), I have to tell them. I love you dear friends!
To all who can read this....cynical or not, let love creep in or at least the fun-ness of the day. Happy Valentine's Day!

Creative Stagnance

Over the last couple months I have hit roadblocks, word blocks, creative blocks. No ideas at all. Not just in writing, but everywhere....in my designing, business ideas, scrapbooking, even in suggestions for my son when I am helping him with homework. I feel like a creative paraplegic. The desire to move is there, but it's just not happening. I am trying to find the deep-rooted seed that has taken hold in my creative zone. I feel like I'm hunting for the white rabbit. Until my creative river takes flow again...you my reader, get vents, ramblings, inexplicable soliloquies. Let's pray the river flows soon. :)

New Year, New You

Ah, such is the life to live now. Working desperately to keep those resolutions...lose weight, get organized, eat better, yadda, yadda. So, I have those too, see above for the generic ones, but here's my secret one...write. It's always what I've wanted to do, so now I at least try, everyday. One of my issues is that I come up with the best topics in the shower...someone really needs to invent something so I can write in the shower. I'll give blood to buy that. Ah, one other secret resolution of mine...be thankful, especially for the people in my life.

Giving It Up For Lonely

I think I'm giving up on people. Why do I even hold onto my friendships? I've had so many "good" friends come in and out of my life that I make it extremely difficult to let people in anymore. I do wear my heart on my sleeve, and people tend to take advantage of that. So, the few friends I let into my life are family to me, and it breaks my heart when I feel like our friendship is just shoved aside like some forgotten project. I understand the busy-ness of our lives. Trust me, I do, sometimes I think I'm the queen of Busy. But I still make time for my friends. I call, I email, and I make time to have time for my friends, just like I do for my family.

I've even tried making online friends over the last few months. With the exception of a very few, online friends are worse. You sign on, and you see people just disappear. Even if you don't have time to chat, but they don't know that, and social networks are becoming just as bad. All of your so-called "friends". Most of them aren't true friends. Just people you used to know or who are nosy enough to make sure they have to know what the hell you're doing all the time by your status or bulletins or whatever. It's just fucking exhausting.

I do have my husband, but between our schedules, we only possibly see each other 12 hours a week, if even that! We rarely get to talk, and when we do, it's usually normal routine banter or drunken "I have no idea what I'm saying" conversations or the dirty pillow talk. Yes, he's the one closest to me, but he's rarely ever there and I need more than the whole "ships passing in the night" crap. I appreciate what he does for our family, but it's not just him sacrificing here.

Funny thing is, I'm so fucking lonely, I must seem desperate to keep any adult friendship going. I'm not. Maybe I should just keep to myself, become reclusive. Hell, I know I make myself happy. I don't ever let myself down or disappoint myself. I suppose I could be content with just my nuclear group. No one in, no one out, just me and my boys. I know if I did that I'd have a clear mind because then I wouldn't have anyone else but the fam to think about.

Life Regained

I can't remember when I wrote this, but I think it was in high school.

Darkness surrounds-
Yet I live.
I cry to heave
Yet I'm not heard.
I curse towards hell
And all breaks loose.
Breath runs away-
Sight begins to fade-
Feeling is no more.
I cry to be loved
And arms hold me.
Feeling your supernatural
Peace is all I feel
And seeing your supernatural
Light is all I see
breathing your power
Is all I breathe.
You brought me back
And keep me close
To protect and love.