Monday, January 11, 2010


Last night I watched Julie & Julia, and in the back of my mind, I thought to myself, "I should do a project like that". You know, a year-long project learning to do something and learning about myself, and then I thought..."I'm already doing that, and more". My year long 'diligence' project would be considered my race training. I already blog about it here, and just like Julie's cooking project in the movie, it takes diligence, dedication, inspiration, and a willingness to go beyond your normal tendencies.

As I began to think of the "and more" part, I realized how many side projects I have going all the time...and this on top of all my working-mother/wife-busy-as-all-get-out schedule. So, let's see who gets overwhelmed first at the sight of my list:

  • Soccer. Outdoor soccer for me, not my kids. This takes up most Sundays for 8 months of the year just for games alone.
  • Scrapbooking. Enough said, with many unfinished projects.
  • Writing. I think the most progress in this area is in my blogging.
  • Learning to sew. Yea...
  • Monthly Girls' Night Out Organizer. Hey, it's the only way I can guarantee I see everyone on a semi-regular basis.
  • Converting to a more organic, natural livelihood everyday. It's actually pretty hard when you have very little time for research, testing, etc.
  • Trying to save the world one little corner at a time. Well, at least trying to make a difference in someone's world.

Now, that I see it all typed out, it measures up to a paltry little list, but one has to consider the components of each "project" making each one a bit more complex than it seems. Yet, it still makes me consider something else entirely. Perhaps my year long project is to make progress within all of my other projects...hmmm, that is a possibility and another subject for yet another post.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Letting It Go

Of all the lessons I still need to learn, letting go is probably the biggest lesson of all I need to learn. If I just let go, even a little, wishes may come true, desires may become reality, and peace can be found. On New Year's Eve, I realized I actually have much to let go of...dreadful traditions, unfulfilled relationships, little "sentimental" items with no actual sentiment. For once, I have no plan to take on this daunting character task I have before me.

Yet, that in itself, is another way of letting go. I keep trying to plan this, plan that, plan for whom, plan for what. Plans don't turn out, I get disappointed and then my "plans" are ruined. I'm not saying not to plan for anything, but somehow I've managed to plan practically every second of my life and now my family's lives. I thought I was organized, but I realized I've started becoming overbearing, controlling, and difficult at times. That's not me. Plans now go out the window. I'm doing the essential planning, but letting life happen as well. My family flourishes under spontaneity. Even if it is baking sugar cookies from scratch at 9 p.m. at my sister's house and we stay up late waiting for them to finish or just the occasional playtime before bed or better yet, the surprising hug and thank you to the husband.

Another area to let go is with certain people, certain relationships and certain expectations. First things first, I'm easily letting go of people who make me feel less than myself or worse than I should. Thing is, I never really cared what they thought of me, I just always let people's good happenings get to me and make me see the negative in my life. I was miserable when I should be extremely happy in a life I work hard to make.

A little while ago, I start living by this anonymous quote: The only people you need in your life are the ones that prove they need you in theirs. I started weeding out people who I thought I needed in my life yet, they apparently didn't need me in theirs. Part of my letting go will take my weeding out, or deciphering, process to another level. I will start letting go of certain aspects of certain relationships; certain aspects that have kept me from growing with my family, growing within my marriage, growing within my community, and most importantly, growing within myself.

I hope at the end of all of this I will become the person I think I am, the person I know that's hiding in me somewhere, the person who got lost years ago and is ready to come home.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Goodbye 2009

2009 wasn't a spectacular year, yet in reflection, I conjured up a list of great things that happened.

  • I lost a total of 22 pounds.
  • Taylor started karate and ended the year with a green belt.
  • Paul appreciated the goings on of a stay-at-home parent.
  • Cyrus' communication level increased exponentially.
  • Taylor attended his first "real" rock concert...with me, of all people.
  • Paul appreciated becoming re-employed.
  • Cyrus has become 98.5% potty trained.
  • Paul joined a new band and debuted it on the last night of the year.
  • I ran my first 5K for the Susan G. Komen foundation.
  • I met and become friends with fantastic people...all thanks to the WWW.
  • Taylor learned the first lesson of responsibility and consequences with chores and allowance.
  • Taylor joined the Borman Singing Astros out of his own desire.
  • I read 39 books this year.
  • Cyrus has an artistic streak a mile and more wide, and it has flourished.
  • We all learned lessons of the importance of family and good people.
Now we put 2009 to rest and save the memories to live the adventure of 2010.